Asking social psychology how I can reframe my intrusive thoughts ---
An obstacle I face mentally is often comparing myself to others in order to determine if I am doing “good enough”, which usually translates into a harmful, self-criticizing mentality that I can get stuck in. This habit of using social comparison as a means of self-evaluation becomes especially dangerous when paired with an existing negative mood, and it can spur a vicious cycle of dissatisfaction with myself and low self-esteem. These comparative thoughts, which may stem from my competitive nature and high expectations since childhood, are a fixture of my stream of consciousness — though they have played a part in motivating me to accomplish what I have, there has often been more harm than good, as it is impossible to ever be the best.
To overcome this and regain control over my tendencies, social psychology research points to the importance of an optimistic mindset, a sense of control, and seeking inspiration instead of confirmation of doomed inferiority. I aim to apply these learnings by reframing my social comparisons to drive and foster self-improvement, taking inspiration from upward comparisons to set personally relevant and actionable goals. Steps in setting this plan in motion include reminding myself of the power of optimism, engaging in activities that improve my self-esteem and sense of control over my life, and putting in the work each day to show that doing my best is, in fact, good enough.
Firstly, optimism and self-esteem should be nurtured; they both play a key role in determining the strength of negative emotions that arise from social comparisons, particularly upward. Note that because upward comparisons have a much greater occurrence and variety of resulting negative emotions, both personally and in the literature (Corcoran et al., 2011), I am primarily interested in combating these effects, as opposed to downward comparisons. Liu et al. (2017) investigated the relationship between upward social comparisons on social networking sites (SNSs) and depressive symptoms, and the role of self-esteem and optimism as variables in the underlying process. To do so, they recruited approximately twelve hundred Chinese university students, who answered a questionnaire containing items on comparison tendencies, depression symptoms, self-esteem, and optimism on point scales, with modified versions of standard testing scales used to accommodate for cultural differences. The researchers then used the point totals to analyze the correlations between the variables and construct models of their relationships. They found that self-esteem mediates and optimism moderates the relation between upward social comparisons on SNSs and depressive symptoms. In other words, individuals that compare with others who appear better off on social media sites experience lower self-esteem, which would then further lead to depression. Additionally, with optimism as a moderator, individuals with greater optimism would be less strongly affected, and vice versa for those with lower optimism. From these results, we see that a tendency to compare upwards can wear down our self-esteem and mental health if we are not hopeful about our future prospects. Alternatively, with a stronger sense of optimism, we can protect ourselves from these negative effects; thus, to protect myself from these consequences of my comparative tendencies on social sites and beyond, I would seek to strengthen my optimism by practicing gratitude, being active and present in my daily life, and engaging in activities that I enjoy to additionally reinforce my self-esteem.
Another important variable that mitigates the harmful effects of social comparisons is described by Van Yperen et al. (2006) as effort-performance expectancy (E-P expectancy), or the belief that putting in effort can improve performance. In their study, Van Yperen et al. hypothesized that for individuals with higher E-P expectancy, upward social comparisons correspond to more positive affect and a stronger desire to work harder; on the other hand, lower E-P expectancy individuals would just gain positive affect from downward comparisons. In one experiment, the researchers surveyed 100 experienced teachers in secondary education, providing them with a point-scaled questionnaire. The first general part aimed to assess their E-P expectancy, and the second experimental part manipulated and measured positive affect and work ethic by conducting a social comparison to a described made-up teacher, whose attributes were designed to trigger either an upward or downward comparison. The results indicated that a strong E-P expectancy, or belief that people are generally able to do well if they put in the effort, is positively correlated with positive affect after upward social comparisons, but surprisingly, they found no support for a corresponding desire to work harder. The researchers also did not find a resulting positive affect after a downward comparison with low E-P expectancy, which they attribute to an interference of negative emotion stemming from a perceived lack of personal control. They also note that more information about the effort put in to attain success could help with making upward comparisons more inspirational. With this in mind, I see that building a stronger E-P expectancy, or essentially cultivating a growth mindset, and regaining a sense of personal control over my ability to do well can help me derive motivation and positive emotions from the upward comparisons I make.
We have seen that viewing upward comparisons as a source of inspiration enables more positive emotional takeaways; this inspired perspective is much more productive than one of inferiority. In their study, Burleson et al. (2005) examined these two lenses of viewing social comparisons through, and their effects on self-concept, and particularly the artistic identity of young artists. They built on the “big fish small pond” effect by hypothesizing that social comparisons stemming from a belief of inferiority should be associated with negative changes in artistic self-concept, but also stating that inspiration-based comparisons relating to positive changes in self-concept would complicate the fish pond effect. The study made use of a longitudinal design by studying high school students who were accepted to an advanced summer arts program; approximately 150 students participated, and they filled out pre- and post-program questionnaires in addition to writing diary entries throughout the program. These questionnaires asked point-scaled questions on comparison tendencies, broadly categorized as accompanied by thoughts of either inspiration or inferiority, as well as questions on the student’s identification as an artist and career aspirations as a measure of their artistic self-concept. The researchers ultimately found support for their hypothesis, with negative self-concept changes resulting from inferiority-based comparisons and positive changes from inspiration-based comparisons. They also surprisingly found that pre-existing comparison tendencies had almost no effect on changes in self-concept, indicating the importance of the comparisons made during the program and of the setting and context for these comparisons. For my takeaway, I would aim to focus on upward comparisons in areas that are both highly relevant to my self-concept, as the study did, and improvable — for example, artistry or academics, and less so appearance or core personality. This is to invoke a sense of control over those areas, which ties in well to the belief of effort-performance expectancy defined earlier: from upward comparison, if I create a relevant personal goal for myself along with a sense of inspiration and control over my outcome, I can feel inspired to put in the effort needed to achieve it.
Overall, I have reviewed various studies in social psychology that relate to reducing the harmful effects of upward social comparisons. They recommend viewing upward social comparisons with optimism, the belief that effort brings about reward, and a corresponding mindset of inspiration instead of inferiority. These are the tools with which I aim to battle persisting thoughts of self-inadequacy. In practice, I will take my database of uncomfortable social comparisons and reframe them to serve my best interest in self-improvement. This includes building a greater sense of optimism and power in my life, pursuing fulfilling activities, and putting in my best effort, while also letting go of what I cannot control. As in the ancient myth of Sisyphus, rolling the boulder up may symbolize a life-long struggle to be more, but without the whispers of envious comparison, it could even feel quite peaceful.
Burleson, K., Leach, C. W., & Harrington, D. M. (2005). Upward social comparison and self-concept: Inspiration and inferiority among art students in an advanced programme. British Journal of Social Psychology, 44(1), 109–123. https://doi.org/10.1348/014466604x23509
Corcoran, K., Crusius, J., & Mussweiler, T. (2011). Social comparison: Motives, standards, and mechanisms. Theories in Social Psychology, 119-139.
Liu, Q., Zhou, Z., Xia, Y., Niu, G., Tian, Y., & Fan, C. (2017). Upward social comparison on social network sites and depressive symptoms: A moderated mediation model of self-esteem and optimism. Personality and Individual Differences, 113, 223–228. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.03.037
Van Yperen, N. W., Brenninkmeijer, V., & Buunk, A. P. (2006). People’s responses to upward and downward social comparisons: The role of the individual’s effort‐performance expectancy. British Journal of Social Psychology, 45(3), 519–533. https://doi.org/10.1348/014466605x53479